Final Rewrite

So, I’m finally getting around to finishing this. I’ve had the drafts on my hard drive for the longest but I lost some of my zest for it when I didn’t have any pre-readers anymore to help me check for errors. This will no longer be an issue though, hope you guys enjoy this snippet.



Snow Hinton Park was a rather pleasant place for families to spend lazy Sunday afternoons. It was not the largest of public parks by any means, but it was a rather noteworthy landmark. Snow Hinton Park’s size is not what made it special either. Nor was it the surreal sense of tranquility and ease that it allowed it’s patrons to become absorbed with. It certainly was not the strange phenomena that tended to occur there as of late. None of this gave Snow Hinton the proverbial ‘motion in the potion’ necessary to set it apart from any other place. Though it would be nice to continue to prattle on about the many things that made Snow Hinton Park one of the top national parks in the United States, it would probably be more pertinent to focus on what is going on now. It was just another day at Snow Hinton. Children giggled and played games that involved a lot of running, some adults also ran, but enjoyed the activity considerably less, and couples shared intimate, but not too intimate moments. If you take the time to ignore the never-ending struggle between picnickers and ants, the park was radiating peace and relaxation.

At least it was, before the large, reptilian thing decided to show up. 

It was, under a very loose and liberal definition, a monster. Which had become the popular term to refer to anything from an unidentified species that looked like it might very well bite your head off and feast upon your flesh. This particular ‘monster’ was a freakish thing, it appeared to be about seven feet tall and unlike some of its peers in the ‘monster’ community it had taken the time to ordain itself in clothing. With a long wool like shirt covering its torso and what looked to be a pair of wrestler tights. In short, it looked like a cross between a Komodo dragon and a WWE gimmick gone horribly wrong. In accordance to its nature, it snarled, growled, and made like it was only seconds away from bringing hot, bloody, death to anyone present. Of course the reality was it was probably going to be more like milliseconds away from tearing into their flesh if the occupants of the park didn’t make any move to escape soon. The typical reaction to any sort of abomination appearing to create havoc and confusion would normally be a barrel of screams, a jug of squeals, and snivels of self-preservation.

Things were a bit different here. Instead of doing their best impersonation of Olympic track star Usain Bolt and high tailing it, the people carried on as if nothing had changed. In fact, many people were noticeably annoyed at the slavering hell beast’s sudden intrusion, but none panicked or seemed particularly frightened at all. The ‘monster’ paused and attempted to ponder the meaning of this non-reaction. Unfortunately, its intellectual capacity was rather limited, so it just went back to its snarling and growling bit again.

After a couple minutes of this going on, a well-endowed adolescent girl, wearing what looked like a combination of a fairy-tale princesses’ costume and a way too short miniskirt leaped out of nowhere and sternly faced the reptilian abomination. Describing the girl wasn’t much of a trial due to a sort of ethereal glow she exuded. Her skin was a milky white that seemed to radiate purity. Brown hair covered her head and billowed in an unseen wind. While the girl’s face was flawless and was covered with a smile that screamed ‘youthful exuberance!’. The ‘monster’ having grown annoyed with the other humans lack of terror spun to face her prepared to at last unleash its wrath. The girl unfazed by the beast’s quick reaction smiled confidently before she began to speak.

“Hold, foul creature!” she declared, pointing accusingly at the once again confused monster, she continued her epic speech. “It is I, protector of the innocent, Princess Love!”

Many of the assembled “victims” went back to their previous activities after hearing this. By now, this had become a familiar scene to them. Due to some sort of odd event back a couple of years ago, the United States had started to become the perfect target for the forces of evil. Not just that, but for some very bizarre reason the prime target for these forces of evil seemed to be a college town in West Alabama. Almost as if to answer the appearance of random monsters and magical events girls, usually between the ages of twelve and sixteen had taken up the mantle of superheroes. One such superhero was before us in the form of Princess Love. The magical girl in question began to gesticulate madly; her arms quickly making out patented poses with precise accuracy. She began to lecture the creature of death and destruction. “You have committed heresy against Love with your unpleasantness! But have no fear, I shall change your wicked ways, with the power of song!”

A microphone materialized in Princess Love’s hand, quickly she lifted it to her lips and she began to serenade the creature. “o/ Hate is very, very bad! We should love instead! For with the love in our hearts, we can live in happiness! Open your heart to the yummy light that GURK!o/”

The apathetic crowd suddenly started paying attention. It seemed that Princess Love had updated her “Happy Healing Song”; it had never involved the word “gurk” before… And was all that red stuff coming from her forehead some kind of new attack? Just what was going on here? You see, the citizens of Tuscaloosa did not know what to make of this new development. Princess Love did not continue with the “Happy Healing Song.” Nor, did she use her Bubble Heart Wand or rush the monstrosity with a flurry of kicks and punches. Instead, she seemed to think that the wisest tactic would be to fall to the ground and lie there for a while. With a sickening crunch her body plopped onto the ground messily and blood slowly poured out of the gaping hole in her forehead accumulating in a large puddle that soon encompassed her entire body.

The ‘monster’, realizing that Princess Love was no longer a threat, turned its attention on the shocked crowd. Soon, the formerly serene park was transformed into a maddening blur of screaming people. The slower percentage of which didn’t scream quite as much, considering that they were being ripped to bits by the ecstatic monster. All of this was perfect, because it meant that nobody would be noticing me whilst I made my exit. I blew the smoke off my gun and returned it to my trench coat pocket. That had been a lot easier than I thought. I turned to my partner with a lazy grin plastered upon my face. Moving quickly to blend in with the crazed masses I made my way out of the shadowy nooks of the park.

“What’d I tell ya man?” I said to my partner, who had taken the opportunity to drop from his hiding spot in a nearby tree. He’d done a much better job at obscuring himself. I continued as we made our way to the getaway car, “Milk run. C’mon, let’s go grab a burger.”

  1. “It was, under a very loose and liberal definition, a monster. Which had become the popular term to refer to anything from an unidentified species that looked like it might very well bite your head off and feast upon your flesh.”

    This is my favorite few lines right here. Because I can see the park and all the people freaking out but the way you talked about “monster” and how maybe it wasn’t even a monster because they classify any thing of an “unidentified species” like that. It gave me a feeling about the people that I could never identify before.

    As K said in Men in Black, “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it.”

    Love it.


    • Thank you. 🙂 As always I appreciate your kind words and feedback.


      • It was a trip down memory lane for me! I read a lot of this… when I had time to breath. Which I don’t have now… *gasping for air* *panicking*

        I can’t wait to put your paper back publications on my shelf… How long must I wait?


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Life Is MESC


The life of a middle school language arts teacher. Not to be taken to seriously. Kapeesh?




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