Defending Snippet/ Return to blogging


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Hey all, how’ve you been?

I have finally made my return from the working world to start blogging again. I hope everyone has been well. Now, as usual if you enjoy the post please share and comment below with your thoughts and thanks for the support!

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Dan threw down his controller in frustration, nearly spilling the bowl of nachos set between him and Harry. “Damn it, Harry, that’s the seventh time you beat me!”

Harry gave an aristocratic sniff. “Is it my fault that you can’t approach my level of vaunted skill?”

“That’s because I don’t play for eight hours a day!”

“I think someone’s being a Grousy Gertie.”

Dan blinked. “What the hell does that mean?”

Harry shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Oh, forget about this!” swore Dan, turning to the pile of magazines. “Now where’s this nude code?”

Harry thought it over. “I think it’s in Video Game Maniac. Or maybe Video Game Fanatic. Or was it Video Game Zealot? No—no, I’ve got it—it was in Video Game Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder! I’m pretty sure

that’s the one.”

Dan grumbled to himself, and flipped through the last designated magazine looking for the code. He wasn’t having any luck, when he saw the ad.

‘DO YOU WANT ULTIMATE POWER?’, it asked, in bold red letters.

Dan found himself intrigued.

‘Are you a pathetic failure, a poor excuse for a human being?’

Dan felt insulted by that. But he didn’t stop reading.

‘Do the strong and powerful take advantage of you with their superior martial skill? Do the witty and clever baffle you with their verbal byplay? Do the beautiful and desirable ignore your existence?’

Oddly enough, Dan found himself thinking of Natalie, Jameson, and Sarah in short order.

‘We can help,’ promised the ad. ‘Call Ultimate Power, Inc. 666-1313-DAMNED.’

Dan glanced at Harry. “Hey, can I use your phone?”

Harry continued to play his video game. “Are you going to call a sex line?”

“No!”

“You sure?”

“Yes!”

“Damn. Mom won’t let me use them, and I thought that might be a way around it.”

Dan glared at him, and called the number. After about eight rings, a female voice picked up the phone.

“Hello, Ultimate Power, Inc. Offering your hearts darkest desires at a very reasonable price.”

Dan smiled. “Hello, I—”

“Please hold,” said the voice.

‘I come from a land down under,’ began the hold music, ‘where women glow and men plunder. Can you hear, can you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover—’

The phone clicked as the flute music started. “Hello, sir? Are you still there?”

“Still there, sir?”

“Well, yes, now—”

“Good.”

-Click-

‘Who wants to play those eights and aces? Who wants a raise—who needs a stake? Who wants to take that long shot gamble—and head out to Fire Lake?’

-Click-

“How about now? Still on?”

“Yes! Now would you please—”

-Click-

‘I shouted out, “Who killed the Kennedys?” when after all—it was you and me! Let me please introduce

myself—I’m a man of wealth and taste—and I laid traps—’

This time Dan started shouting as soon as he heard the click. “Listen, what is the idea here?! I have been

patient long enough, and now—!”

“You know,” said the female voice on the other end, “we are a very busy business, sir. Our services are in constant demand by many people, often in high positions—lawyers, media moguls, politicians, celebrities, radio talk show hosts…”

“Um, sorry, miss…” said Dan, sheepishly.

“So would you like an appointment?”

“Uh, sure,” Dan replied.

“Tonight at eight then,” replied the woman. “It will be a pleasure doing business with you.”

“Right,” said Dan.

“By the way—not that this means anything—but are you the least bit squeamish about the sight of your own blood?”

***********

After reading be sure to check out the latest episode of #InTheMixW/Shoom

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